Things I’ve been doing that haven’t been working: a blog post about being sick and teaching

I just wrapped up my second week of teaching while sick, and let me just say, it was not easy. Maybe this is common sense, but being around children (often who are also sick) and coughing up phlegm/having a nose that is constantly running are not ideal situations to be in.

So without further ado, let me introduce you to a list of all the mistakes I’ve made as a newbie teacher what not to do, especially when you’re sick while teaching.

1. Do not scream. No matter what.

I know, I know, it sounds like the tag to a horror movie more than advice on working in a classroom (while sick). But no matter how badly you want to yell at your students, take a deep breath, recollect and find a way to stop the action and get their attention without screaming.

If you must scream, find a way to do it with as little exertion as possible. Maybe into a pillow before you go to sleep as your nightly ritual.

Well, unless you are working with kids that literally will ignore you no matter what language you speak to them, no matter what tone you use, no matter if you change their color on the behavior chart or take away their recess. But you know. Do the healthy (professional) thing and hold it in.

   2. Do not come up with complicated or at least somewhat challenging lessons/activities. You will be disappointed.

Less is more – the mantra of all teachers on top of their game. The mantra of champions. The longer you spend explaining things to the tykes slowly wiggling away from you on the rug, the less they are going to retain what you say. And if you say anything, it needs to be short, sweet, and to the point. Oh, and running around having to explain each complicated but what you thought would be “stimulating” activity is just…not rewarding.

Again, less is more.

   3. Do not drink cold water, no matter how much you want to.

Oh, the heat. Oh, the sweat, the unquenchable thirst. But I have learned the hard way that no matter how much you think drinking cold water is the right thing to do on a hot day, if you are sick and congested, it will only make matters worse. The change in temperature from hot to cold disturbs the vocal cords. They cringe and shrivel, leaving you with a very weak voice. As opposed to the mannish, rasping boom that being congested boarding on hoarse will grant you. Word to the wise: it’s not worth the damage.

   4. Avoid talking to parents. In fact, just avoid talking outside of the classroom. Smiles and grunts are more honest and straightforward anyway.

I mean, who needs communication with your children’s parents anyway? It will only make your already complicated, demanding job more complicated and demanding. And besides, you sound like a squeaky door opening and closing when you attempt to speak anyway, which leads to looks of false-sympathy and possible chagrin. Your coworkers, nosy parents, and the school gossip are also not worth breaking the vow of silence.

  5. No expectations. Disappointment is easier to stomach that way.

Goals are good and healthy for your students. You should always have a goal posted and a plan to reach said objective. However, if your students (or at least half of them) continue to fail to meet that objective, it is better to just let them instead of wringing your hands, tearing your hair out, and asking them what in the world is going through their little heads. (I seriously did this a couple times this week out of frustration. Spoiler alert: it solved nothing.) Just hope for the best, and plan for the worst. The adage never lets you down. Expecting to move mountains with tiny sand-castle shovels is just not realistic.

  6. Don’t lose your cool. This goes with the not screaming thing, but can be much, much harder.

Especially if you routinely feel like the unstoppable force that meets the unmovable object. Or vice versa. Sometimes classroom management plans fail. The class falls behind and is late. Things get messy, but even if things are going badly, just let them happen. Observe. Then act. Don’t stress and make yourself sicker. It’s not worth it. Plus, students don’t respect a teacher that loses their cool. Although, yes, it is difficult to determine what these students do respect, and you think that repeating yourself or speaking louder should be enough, but let’s be honest…

7. Don’t repeat yourself ad nauseum or sweat the small things. You will get sicker.

There is a time and a place for sweating the small things. It can improve behavior, and consistency is key. But is it really necessary to call out every little misbehavior that you see? Every whisper or rolled eye or scissor fight? No, no it is not. You should address the behavior according to your classroom management consequence plan (so move them down and praise the students that are following directions), but the economy of words is never as vital to bear in mind as when you are struggling to speak without your voice squeaking. If the students can’t accomplish the task properly the first time, take into account what may have went wrong, guide steadily but in a detached manner, but…well, you’ll sweat regardless. It’ll just be more do to the heat than the strain of constant repetitions at an steadily increasing, strained volume.

8. Don’t forget you’re living in the context of another culture – machismo and all.

Culture shock is part of the process, and while you seldom predict that it will come in the form of having to manage several students who insist on striking each other to solve their problems, you also must find a reasonable solution for the problems which cause them to resort to self-defense in the first place. (And consider the lessons built into their culture and society. Such as parents actively encouraging their children to take matters into their own hands, especially if they’re boys.) That includes a reasonable set of consequences that you must uphold, no matter how much they growl and roll their eyes. If, at the tender age of 7, they are already obsessed with showing how manly and macho they are, do not be alarmed. They are simply reacting to the cultural demands put on them.

These are just some of many mistakes I have made that I must say, no matter how frustrated you become or convinced it’s the only way to establish control, you shouldn’t do, especially while sick. Because it will just lead to more regrets and slower recovery time overall. Oh, and on that note, don’t share much space with your sick students if you can avoid it, especially while they’re eating.

More than an advice blog, I think this is my big cry for help and advice. Seasoned teachers, please tell me what I am doing wrong. Or better yet, tell me what I could or should do to handle the group of students that I have and recover from new-teacher-itis. My students are uniquely difficult for several reasons I will save for another post (mostly related to a mixture of undiagnosed learning and behavioral disorders – I mean, seriously, I have at least three students that will hit their classmates, in front of me, no matter what consequences are set – perhaps because the school itself does not have a policy for dealing with).

All this being said, I do have an idea of the moments things went right and what I was doing. So I am going to try to take my failures in stride, the general struggle with the ups and downs of “training” my students. It’s important to breathe, step back, and regroup, I’ve found. Reevaluate, reflect, and refresh. Start the new day with a clean slate on a positive note. And so far I’ve still been able to accomplish that much at least. Oh, and my room’s AC is finally working. That helps too.

For now, it’s just the general trial and error that is making me feel so incompetent. That, and this damn coughing sickness that makes me feel so tired. And a very unsupportive, non-constructive administration. But hopefully this week I will start seeing some more of those Tiny Victories I will talk about in another post. Stay tuned.

P.S.: Pardon my lag. I’m currently juggling an online TEFL certification course as well as all of these exhausting school responsibilities, but I promise that once the course ends in the next couple weeks, I will dedicate a lot more time to the blog. Well, assuming anyone cares.